Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He did a backflip because drugs
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