Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
