even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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