Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
