I smell stomach acid.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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