did you get engaged???
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
