I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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