his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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