i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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