I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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