Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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