i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
