so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
