4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize