She said her name was "party"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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