There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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