I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
