are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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