The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
