he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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