just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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