So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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