OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
