So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
