brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
