Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize