Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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