Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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