We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
