Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
