once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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