its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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