why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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