I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
