Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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