How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
