oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
