He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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