just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
