We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize