it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
