Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
