Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
