i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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