worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think people are normalizing furries
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
