Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
