i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
