They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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