Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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