please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
