My hand turned me down
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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