So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
