i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize