wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
