For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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