That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
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