Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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