you win again, gameday.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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