The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
