bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We have so much sex to catch up on
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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