Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
